Retreat - Cultivation

Hi Lotus Chef,

Thank you for your time answering my question.
Yes, let us have a good chat and tea together someday hahaha :)

I noticed that you work in Jakarta. Goodie!!! I love the food in some of the malls. Last round Lotus Nino brought me to this lovely Chinese cuisine place. :)

Regarding your opinion, let me share my experience first...

Fortunately I feel so lucky to taken a refuge in the Triple Jewels and GM in this lifetime. It is almost one year since I taken a refuge and many things that have happen in my life either ups and downs and honestly I believe that all I got in my lifetime now is from my past karmas. I have known about the Buddha's teaching since I was little but I do not completely understand the essence of Buddha's teaching.

After I have read GM books and GM past spiritual experiences by accident (which I have never heard of GM's name ever since I was a child), it have opened my eyes completely and I am sure this is the right choice for me.

Even my family members have taken refuge in the Triple Jewels and GM; which I did not expect earlier; especially for my little brother who was until now a Christian. I feel happy for them :)

All of you have the right ingredient = Affinity already! 

Sometimes I have real experiences each time I spent my day cultivating even just only once every day such as; a feeling my head is touched or irradiated by the enlightened beings (even though I cannot see them with my naked eyes), feel my body shaken like being entered when I visualized when entered meditation, sometimes also in dreams, etc; but honestly I believe all my spiritual experiences is just the same with other beings who have taken the refuge in the Triple Jewels and GM. And I do not feel proud of it and have forgotten it each day because I know it is all from the compassion of GM and the enlightened beings so why should I feel special about it :)

My dear OPS, if you read my blog, you would have discovered that there are light orbs everywhere.

What draw them to gather around a certain place? 

Like attracts like! When Guru does any cultivation session, all Divinities & Deities gathered around like attending a big party!

Light orbs as per Guru consist of a Divinity and his Mandala.

It is like a King having his court gathering around him.

When you cultivate and truly relax, then you can feel & sense the beings surrounding or co-existing with you. 

When light orbs "bang against" you, its an amazing experience as it is a feather light touch but like a candle lighting up, you feel peace and joy and very comfortably loved and cared for.

However, when your body shake and you can't control the shaking, then the being merging with you is not "desirable". Best concentrate and draw Guru in first to ensure you don't merge with "undesirables".


I was wondering why in the first place I felt that I should take a long term retreat and whether I have the time etc for the retreat because in fact now I have other responsibilities such as for my family, my colleagues, etc, I feel ashamed of my ego even though I have a positive motivation for the retreat in the first place.

The reason why I was considering to take a long term retreat is to abstain myself from all worldly stuffs and beings and why I feel that I am a lay person because I have not taken any kind of Buddhist vow and even I have taken a vow, I feel I cannot preserve the vow itself.

I am glad that you understand my point about caring for your family's well-being first and also your career. You must not make any drastic changes to your current lifestyle and in so doing disrupt the ones around you, causing suffering like unhappiness.

 Hahaha! You didn't get my take on the long retreat at all!!!

One do not need to lock or stay away from sentient beings or the sentient world to cultivate in order to be able to abstain from breaking precepts.

Reading from your statements, I find that you are too uptight about the Precepts.

You forgot the basic principle of cultivating is to leave all suffering behind!

You should be happier and happier and make all those around you the same too.

Stage 4 Yoga - No Cultivate Yoga 无修瑜伽. This is whether you cultivate or not, can't differentiate anymore.

As per Guru, at this stage, one has great wisdom which appears to others as craziness or madness. 

:) Read my translation of Guru's article on the stages or levels of Yoga?

Honestly, there are about 500+ Disciplines for nuns and I haven't any idea what they are all about!

Why don't I care? Because, as Guru said, if you are on the moon alone, Dharma don't exist.

When Dharma don't exist or there is no need for Dharma, likewise there is no need for any disciplinary measures to ensure that all live harmoniously together.

This is Buddha's [All beings are equal and are ONE!].

Your mindset towards all sentient beings most important, as you will not harm yourself, therefore when all are considered being one with you, you will naturally not cause any harm to Self.

 

Dear Lotus Chef, each day when I cultivate, I also reflect of what I have done in that day, especially if I have break the five moral percepts even though only occur in my mind, I feel ashamed of it and cultivate to cleaning of it.
But I am not sure of myself because it is like that every single day I keep on and on breaking even only one of the five moral percepts and even though it only occur in my mind. I always and always confess in front of the altar each day and always admit my mistakes and chat my experiences to GM and all the Buddhas. I felt like I have keep on and on disappointing GM and the Buddha's of my whatever actions I have done. I cannot even maintain and safeguard the five moral percepts perfectly.

I felt that it is almost impossible to keep our minds every single second to become clear like crystal and not attached to it. That's why I was considering to take a long term retreat and I always have a though that I am a lay person even though I cultivate each day..... I think when I am able to take a long term retreat, I can manage my mind more effortless

Dear Lotus Chef, I would like to ask you a question :)

For example; one day I had a bad experience, and when I read and analyze my thoughts, I felt negative ones suddenly exit from my mind (just instantly ; like a bubble ...pop pop pop...) such as anger and self pity of myself etc. But I hardly prevent not to let my anger get out from my mind in words or other actions and after that I chant GM's mantra maybe around 7 times, and then I forget about my bad experiences and do not want to keep it in my mind and just assume it was only a dream (just instantly again; like a bubble ...pop pop pop...)...I keep reminding in GM's words that all experiences such as bad or good ones is only a dream

Is my action above is correct? How would you do if you are in my position?

I felt that the Buddha's mind is completely different from a lay person hahaha :) That's why also each single day I keep asking in front the altar, how would GM or other Buddhas feel when they experienced a bad one? Does their mind instantly pop up negative ones and they completely surpass it or instead instantly pop up positive ones such as compassion and wisdom hahahaa :) I always curious and keep wondering about it....because I cannot imagine it at all...is the mind empty etc?

I wished to tell you too about my past life time experience which i think I know and believe who was I am at that time...it has given me a though that karma law really exists and it is the main cause why I meet GM in this lifetime...but maybe if we can meet someday... because actually it is not a good one and I feel ashamed if I wrote to you the details in this email...hahaha :)
Thanks and best regards,

Hahaha! Thanks for classifying me with Guru and Buddhas !

You liken my thought to that of Guru & Buddhas. You forgot that you are one in the making too?

 Don't think too much, just act natural.

Your biggest problem is Mindset & Confidence. 

Trust Guru, have confidence that he is guiding you along the Bodhi Path. Don't bother about breaking any precepts. As you will be given chances to repent and make good. Taking refuge with Guru & the Triple Gems, one actually made vows to alleviate suffering and bring happiness to all beings. Making Boddhicitta vows, only reinforce the initial vow of refuge taking.

Let me tell you that the long retreat will not help you abstain from breaking precepts; if your mindset remain the same as now. 

 Most of us have pass affinity with Guru; and we have come back to continue that affinity only. 

Don't let your imagination run wild when cultivating, as you can be given visuals that tempt you or disturb you from deep meditation. These are results of unsettled Karmic debts. 

Therefore Guru teaches us to cultivate Vajrasattva's Repentance which is the 4 preliminaries practice for all True Buddha Students. 

O! You owe me big-time for answering such a long email! 

I sincerely wish you Happy Cultivating!

:)

Amituofo

Pure Karma

Lama Lotuschef

True Buddha School