Dear Fa Shi,
Don’t why lately this 1 year i always argue with my mom. I can’t understand why she became so..scornful at me. Especially to my husband. I know my husband not a rich guy.But he is a good guy and have a golden heart.More caring to my mom then my mom’s only son (my lil brother)
But several time the argue (me & my mom) makes me want to end my life. I thought maybe then she will happier bcoz the trouble maker has dissappear!But then i remember GM, my husband, my sister,i know i’ll make them dissappointed. Or maybe maybe i was to afraid to do it.
I still keep my sadness & pain in my heart but i can’t love her like i used to.I know that makes me a 不孝 child. But can’t help the hatred when she start to complain me this and that (like my wall painting,when i ironing my husband wardrobe and lots of things that i can’t imagine being problem to her.
Maybe best way if i stay far away from her. But who will take care of her?:(
*sighh* don’t know how to deal with her anymore..
i hate her but i can’t ignore her..
Dear Shijie,
You are digging yourself deeper and deeper into Sufferings!
Just save yourself by sitting down quietly and chant Guru’s mantra for half an hour. You can go sit in a park under a tree or as Guru said, even in the toilet if you can stay there undisturbed for half an hour.
I suggest that before you chant, tell Guru that you wish to dedicate to all sentient beings and may they all be well and happy.
Gao wang sutra or High King Avalokitesvara Sutra is very good as well and you can add it after you chant Guru’s mantra.
Whenever you have disturbing thoughts, stop them with Guru’s mantra. You can hold a photo of Guru and smile at him as you chant.
Thoughts should not be left to grow into a chain of thoughts.
Your message shows you let the thoughts take over already.
Amituofo
Pure Karma
Lama Lotuschef
True Buddha School
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