Selective Translation into English by Lotuschef.
Do your own if you so please, for a version that You can truly understand.
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笑話一則：A joke:
數學課的時候。
老師見學生一個個無精打采，老師說：「只要有人能解出這道難題，我就放你們假。」
During Mathematics lesson, teacher upon seeing that students are listless, said: If have anyone that can solve this difficult problem, I will let you all have a break.
學生一聽放假，大家精神就來了，台下異口同聲的回答：「好！」
Students upon hearing these, all spruced up, and unanimously replied: [Good!]
老師接著又問：「要是沒有人能解答出來呢？」
Teacher followed by asking: If no one can solve then?
小明突然冒出一句：「解答不出來，我們放老師的假。」
Xiao-ming suddenly said: If can't solve, then we give teacher a break.
台下學生，掌聲不斷。
Students below the stage all clapped non-stop.
哈！哈！哈！
Hahaha!
哈！哈！哈！
Hahaha!
盧師尊解析：GM Lu clarified:
學生喜歡放假。Students like to have breaks.
老師也喜歡放假。Teachers also like to have breaks.
這是相對的。This is comparison.
如果你了解了人的心理，很多事情會迎刃而解的，不會打了一個死解。
If you understand people's mindset, many matters can be solve like the bamboo splits off when it meets the knife's edge, won't form a dead knot.
禪也是一樣的，你可以用反面的思考，解決一切的難題。
Zen is also similar, you can use the opposite side to ponder, to solve all difficult problem.
龍穴山和尚。
僧人問：「如何是祖師西來意？」
山和尚答：「騎虎唱巴歌。」
如果我來答：「放假了！祖師放假了！」
僧人問：「既然是大善知識，為什麼給土地公燒紙錢？」
山和尚答：「彼上人者難為酉壽對。」
如果我來答：「拿著錢，好好放假去旅行。」
大乘山和尚。
僧人問：「枯木逢春時如何？」
大乘山和尚答：「世間希有。」
如果我來答：「閒花放大假。」
僧人問：「如何是四方八面事？」
大乘山和尚答：「升子裏 跳，斗子內轉身。」
如果我來答：「環遊世界八十天。」
延慶歸曉禪師。
Zen master, Yan-qin Gui-yao.
僧人問：「言語道斷時如何？」
僧人問：「言語道斷時如何？」
Monk asked: what happens when speech and language path breaks/exhausted?
歸曉禪師答：「兩重公案。」
歸曉禪師答：「兩重公案。」
Zen master, Gui-yao replied: Two type of Koan.
如果我來答：「夏威夷海灘曬太陽。」
If for me, I would answer: Sunbathing at Hawaiian sea-shores.
僧人問：「如何是境中人？」
歸曉禪師答：「識嗎？」
如果我來答：「放他假去！」
（盧師尊提示：沒有想到一個放假的笑話，給我這麼多的靈感。
但，聖弟子想一想，我本如來佛，到這人間本是放假，又何必勞勞碌碌？大家放假，高高興興去玩）
GM Lu's pointers: Didn't think that a joke on taking a break, gave me so much inspiration.
But, saintly students, think on this, I am originally Buddha, came to Human realm for a break/holiday, why need to be tiring and buzzing busy?
Lets all take a break, happily go and play.
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Research:
Link: https://tw.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110523000016KK02249
最好的辦法，是親身實證，大家都依照佛陀實驗成功的驗證方法，親自去實驗，等自己進入三昧(或稱三摩地)的深層禪定狀態，就能知道實相究竟是什麼。
最佳解答: Best explantion:
佛陀所徹悟出來的實相，超過人類所能理解的程度，無法用人類的語言和文字來解說。
Buddha's realisation came from Truth, surpassed Human race level or degree of understanding, can't use Human's language or written words to explain.
Buddha's realisation came from Truth, surpassed Human race level or degree of understanding, can't use Human's language or written words to explain.
最好的辦法，是親身實證，大家都依照佛陀實驗成功的驗證方法，親自去實驗，等自己進入三昧(或稱三摩地)的深層禪定狀態，就能知道實相究竟是什麼。
The Best method, is to self affirm, through experience like Buddha, await when self enters Samadhi or Deep Zen meditative state, then will realise the Truth.
In the above clip: Zen is another word for Path!
Another example is Buddha picked up an Udumbara flower and a smile appeared on Maha Kassapa's face.
A silent transmission without speech!
Hahaha! Can you read from the above and figure out what story each one shared?
Buddha Dharma is a massive web of links with infinite pathways!
Realise that from a joke of taking a break or holiday, lots of interesting Dharma concepts can come together?
Cheers all
Om Guru Lian Sheng Siddhi Hom
Lama Lotuschef
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